Once the chaos died down in my house last night, I grabbed a glass of grape juice (the well fermented variety) and took a little browse through the NickMom website. I hadn’t heard of NickMom.com but I was expecting another of “those” mom sites that mostly tell me I suck at motherhood and remind me of all that I’m doing wrong. I browsed through their #motherfunny site and between the “grape juice’ and the content, I was giggling and nodding in agreement and carrying on a full conversation with my computer. Did I finally go insane you ask? Nope… I left the site feeling more NORMAL than ever and feeling perfectly ok that I fed my child a hotdogger because I was too tired to get some hot dog buns or actually cook him a full meal.
Finally a mom site for the non-perfect! It was a nice break to sit back and laugh at myself and other moms who tell it like it is.
I remember when I first found out I was pregnant. I was so excited. I was going to do everything “right” and be the perfect mom with the perfect child. My understanding of what that meant was based on no experience whatsoever. I was going to be THAT mom who would:
- Attend every PTA meeting
- Feed my child and his friends only the healthiest food
- Dress him in adorable little spotless clothes
- Patiently work with him on his homework as he got older
- Keep everyone on a schedule
- Keep a spotless and organized home
- Be the envy of other moms out there
- Fit in with moms in all the perfect mommy circles! (Insert eye roll here).
If I could go back in time and talk to that naive, inexperienced mother-to-be I would definitely set her straight… right after I curbed my uncontrollable laughter!
I am sooooo far from that mom! In reality I:
- avoid the PTA when I can
- have thrown all schedules in the garbage after wearing out many erasers
- am thrilled if my kids are clean-ish
- am satisfied that their socks match if the tops of them are the same color
- get more gray hair each time I attempt to help with “new” math
- am often dodging an obstacle course of laundry, shoes, or other items as I walk through my house
- celebrate the fact that my kids know how to open up a can of ravioli
- know the pizza delivery guy by name
As for those mom’s out there that insist that life is perfect and they are in complete control… they have bigger problems than I do. They are delusional and forgot to take their meds.
So anyway, while browsing through some of the hilarious pictures and videos on NickMom, I ran across “What Does Your Snack Offering Say About You?” and figured I’d check out where I measured up. The idea is Your voice may be saying “Do you guys want something to eat?” but your actions are conveying so much more. I skimmed by the Broccoli and Quinoa Bites (really?!). I hesitated briefly on the gummy worms (sometimes I do want my kids to like me) and then I stopped on the actual fruit but only because that’s where I SHOULD have stopped. Now I have tried the fruit thing and it’s a crap shoot and sometimes just ends in a fuss. The ants on a log I think is gross plus that’s a lot of work for a snack that they probably won’t eat.
The last one … the Bento Box of Properly Apportioned Selections from Each Food Group... uh huh.. right. That goes perfectly with my earlier story, and the comment on the graphic had me rolling. That’s exactly what I was thinking! Here’s my attempt at that “perfect mom” thing with multiple food groups. Hey, it’s pretty close don’t you think? (plenty of fruit and the cheetos are kinda bready/grainy)
I really go back and forth between the Fruit Snacks and the Cupcakes and Soda categories shown on the graphic. It totally depends on whether the kids are staying here or going to someone else’s house afterwards. I can’t count how many times my home has been the destination point after someone else has spoon fed them sugar. I’m not above a little payback! With all the deal shopping I do, I have plenty of ammo (sugary snacks and soda) in this house for one hell of a payback! I do try to be prepared.
I’ve come a long way in my self acceptance and enjoy laughing at my imperfect mom-hood. The most important thing I’ve learned in my time being a mom is that a sense of humor is important and NickMom reinforces that. I am now following along on the NickMom Facebook page and have bookmarked their website so I can remember to laugh at myself (and other moms) on the rough days.
So, if you need a little giggle after the kids go to bed tonight, grab a glass of grape juice and check out the MotherFunny NickMom.com … unless of course you’re one of those perfect moms. In that case, you may want to visit your psychiatrist instead to get a refill on those meds.
We’d love for you to share in the comments what your snack offering says about you or your general thoughts about the NickMom site, the perfect mom, or even how much
wine grape juice you enjoyed while browsing after you finally put the kids to bed and had some peace and quiet!